new-york-city-bound:

1. If I sit you at a table, you’re there for a reason. Please understand, I HAVE TO ABIDE BY A ROTATION. You wanting to sit at a booth throws off the pattern. If I don’t offer an option, don’t ask for a booth.

2. Me: Is this table all right?
Guest: Actually, can we sit at that (dirty) booth?

3….

• Laxatives in movies: Person immediately has blow-out diarrhea, with much hilarity.
• Laxatives in real life: Person waits six hours.. twelve hours.. forgets about taking laxatives.. then has blow-out diarrhea, usually in a public place, with much embarrassment.
• Purging in movies: Person sticks finger down throat, daintily pukes quietly into toilet, flushes, and looks fabulous.
• Purging in real life: Person sticks whatever is available down throat, struggles to puke, makes dying walrus noises, finally vomits, vomit comes out nose, gets vomit and toilet water splashed into face and hair, snots and drools for several more minutes, flushes, washes combination of vomit and snot off face, still looks like a train wreck and smells like vomit.
• Fasting in movies: Person never eats, ever, is super happy, and immediately becomes emaciated.
• Fasting in real life: Person fasts until the hunger overtakes the mind, finally breaks down and eats whatever is available, cries and is miserable, takes months to lose a significant amount of weight because metabolism is dead.
• Over-exercise in movies: Person runs for hours on the treadmill, looks fabulous and toned.
• Over-exercise in real life: Person struggles to run for hours on the treadmill, stumbles with shaking legs for the last hour, still looks flabby due to muscle wasting.
• Anorexics and bulimics in movies: Severely emaciated, everyone concerned.
• Anorexics and bulimics in real life: Come in all sizes, usually of "normal" weight, very few people notice or concerned.